I’ve been called many names in my life. From “Party Girl Maggie” to “That Drunk Girl”, and even the most endearing: “Baby Deer”, because, well, picture a baby deer trying to walk for the first time, and that was me entering a blackout each night. These all pale in comparison, though, to what I called myself for over 15 years: “F***-Up”. 

I’m now taking on the uncomfortable-yet-necessary task of detailing just how I went from drinking dangerously and addictively for more than 15 years, to creating my own recovery program that actually works. 

Traditional recovery left me spinning my wheels in shame and guilt, but with the out-of-the-box approach that became The Magnify Method, I transformed into my own superhero and found the courage to follow my dream of helping others like me learn to Think Different to Drink Different or Never Again. 

This is the story of a lost and scared young girl who learned to use alcohol as an escape from pain and trauma, that through specific and almost magical life circumstances, ended up snatching her power back and embodying genuine self-esteem to starve the darkness and feed the light. 

Let’s take this little trip down memory lane together, and I hope that through my story being shared, you’ll be able to snatch your power back, too. 

When I Started the Stopping 

My history with alcohol dates way back to age five as a child growing up in the home with an alcoholic mother. I joke when I say “I’ve been studying addiction since before I was ten”, but that’s really no joke. As a young girl, I studied anything I could get my hands on pertaining to addiction recovery, and all of it was AA and The 12 Steps material.

Growing up in this broken home lent way to me embracing what I had learned from my mother when it came to handling emotions: escape through alcohol. After eight turbulent years of experiencing the adverse childhood effects of addiction in the home, my brother’s suicide and the aftermath of family dysfunction had me convinced to try the one thing that I had hated so much, alcohol. 

The next 15 years is a shit-storm of a blur, and to be honest, I remain grateful that I don’t recall a lot of it. It can be summed up in some short phrases like “embarrassing af”, “totally rock-bottom”, or even “hot mess express”. I had taught myself how to drink hard and fast and “keep up with the boys”, and quite frankly, alcohol had become my entire personality and identity.

Thankfully, The Universe had a wake-up call planned for me, but it was packaged in another profoundly sorrowful experience. The one thing that really caused me to challenge my circumstances and gain the courage to transform was the tragic death of my father. I was 27 when I came home from work and my husband sat me down on the couch and informed me that my dad, my rock and source of unconditional love, was killed in a motorcycle accident.

Again, in all transparency, I didn’t make any successful “moves” with my addiction for another year, but it was the accumulation of all of the straws when I was 28 and drinking heavier-than-ever, that led me to finally feel the break of the camel’s back, and then actually do something about it. 

It was this awareness of how short and precious life is that led me to put my foot down and finally dig out the bravery to embrace the best of the rest of my life, the way my dad and my brother would want me to. 

So here’s the scene: The year was 2020, and I had almost successfully completed Dry January for the first time ever. Going into February, I wanted to keep the success going, but gave myself permission to imbibe at a friend’s wedding on the 15th. Long story short, I yelled at my husband on the dance floor and made a total ass of myself - a feeling I was far too comfortable with. I woke up February 16th with a gut-feeling that I was never going to feel like this again. 

I set out on a mission right then and there to challenge what I was taught about addiction. I thought about everything that AA said that led me to want to drink more or feel more ashamed, and I did the opposite of that. Instead of believing any longer in my “powerlessness”, I decided to believe I was 100% capable and powerful and in-control. 

Now if you recall, some pretty big things started happening around that time in 2020, and it all seemed so chaotic and so messy and so anxiety-ridden, but in hindsight, it was exactly what The Universe intended for me to detach from the world and get my mind right. I spent March, April, May, June, and July 2020 completely abstinent from alcohol, the longest I had ever gone since I was 12 years old. 

During that time, I stopped talking myself out of my dream of being a nutrition coach, a personal trainer, and a successful person in general. I started taking granular notes of my thoughts, and more specifically, my beliefs, and realized very quickly that I had built this self-imposed prison with unsupportive beliefs (paradigms) as the cell walls. 

“I could never”, “Stop dreaming so big!”, “You’re too screwed up”, were some of the main ideas holding me back from ever stepping out of my comfort zone, but I had been dreaming of ways to use fitness and nutrition as coping mechanisms for individuals struggling with depression and addiction. I felt a longing to create a positive impact on not just the addicted population, but the individuals that may one day turn to suicide as an option as well. 

I didn’t want any single person to ever have to feel the depths of sorrow that I had felt, and I didn’t want anyone to be driven to addictive drinking to escape, or even worse, driven to that permanent solution of suicide. 

And that’s how I spent Quarantine 2020- researching and studying and getting involved in coursework that would legitimize me as not just a Coach, but as a Mental Health Professional. I spent ten years ideating about a vision that, once I committed to, I achieved in less than a year. 

I took on the first Magnify client in October of 2020, and since then, Magnify has been able to positively impact more than 50 lives of one-on-one clients that are living a happy, healthy lifestyle. 

Magnify’s Mission

One of the main themes that I uncovered during my transformative year that was 2020 was that traditional recovery methods use, albeit sometimes subliminally or unconsciously, toxic and negative reinforcement to create an experience that can be described as “chasing sobriety”. 

I recalled times in my life where my mom’s 12 Step Sober Coaches told her not to set any goals outside of sobriety. 

“So, I’m not drinking, now what?” *skip to staring blankly at a wall trying to figure out what to do with your hands*

I could remember times in my own attempt with AA where I felt shamed into admitting that I’m powerless, which led me to behave in a powerless manner. 

“I’m an addict, once an addict always an addict, right? I might as well just cave in, this is just who I am… Powerless lil’ ol’ me.”

I realized that when I turned my mind to what I wanted, versus what I didn't want (drinking, addiction, etc..), I would get through an entire day, week, and then month without even thinking about alcohol. 

“The prescription to any problem is to take your mind off of the problem and put it on the image you wish to create.” -Dr. Norman Vincent Peale 

The Magnify Method can seem polarizing at first. It is Alternative Recovery that combines psychology, philosophy, fitness, and nutrition, to help clients think differently and behave differently, so that they can drink less or never again. 

The focus lies in “Magnifying The Good in Life”, and “Starving the Darkness to Feed the Light.”

The main pillars of The Magnify Method are tailored to the individual needs of each client.

1. Understanding Limiting Beliefs: Paradigm Shifting

2. Re-Creation of Self: Exploring Attitude & Identity 

3. Working in Harmony with the Natural, Universal Laws

4. Higher Faculties of Intellect: How to Think Your Way to Success

5. Nutrition Negates Addiction

6. Physical Fitness Leads to Mental Fitness

I was driven by my own gut-feeling that addictive drinking behavior and even physical dependency on alcohol needed to be treated on an individual basis as well as community basis, for there could be no “one way” to recover when each person’s drinking behavior is unique. 

I will always remember the stark contrast in the way I physically felt when I shifted from believing I was powerless and diseased to being in-control, powerful and capable. It was like I dropped a fifty-pound vest off of my shoulders and I was light as a feather, energized to step far out of my comfort zone. 

This is why I am always searching for new ways to instill the energy of empowerment and self-control into the culture of Magnify. Individuals who have gone through The Magnify Method program(s) report heightened confidence levels, increased peace of mind, and an apathetic attitude towards alcohol; they are no longer enthused by the idea of drinking.

I had finally “flipped the switch” on my addictive behavior, and Magnify proves to be effective in doing the same for clients as well. 

Moving forward

At Magnify, we are on the mission to help billions of people around the world learn to Think Different in order to Drink Different or Never again so they can embrace the mind, body, and life of their dreams. 

Though the program was birthed as a one-on-one coaching business model, I’m working hard and fast on launching group program offerings as well as the current Magnify Method Course and Community.

I realize that AA has been around for almost 100 years, it’s highly accessible nationwide and globally, and free, which means I’ll be working hard to create something similar for individuals looking for an alternative path to freedom. 

I am confident that in due time, members of The Magnify Community will be elevated to Magnify Meeting Hosts around the country and world, as well as becoming licensed Magnify Coaches to be able to assist people beginning their journey and needing support. 

As far as our legislature goes, I aim to have Magnify as an option when it comes to legally mandated recovery programs. Many individuals that fall on the Alcohol Use Disorder spectrum don’t necessarily need AA, and I assert that putting the “wrong type of drinker” in a 12 Step Program can actually perpetuate addictive tendencies.

And on a larger, perhaps even grander scale, I look to our education system to be a part of a “revamping” of sorts for our D.A.R.E. Program. Statistics show that children of alcoholics (CoAs) will likely grow up to be an alcoholic or marry one. I want to make a positive impact on the lives of children who may be struggling at home in hopes of breaking the cycle and even seeing suicide rates and addiction rates of CoAs decrease. 

The End of the Beginning

I am determined to make Magnify a household name that brings hope, positivity, and determination to the hearts of people that consider it, and especially in the lives of individuals that undergo it. 

I look back on my years of struggle and strife and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude, for it was each and every dot on my map that led me to my awareness that this is what I’m here to do, this is my life’s purpose. 

And you have a life purpose, too. If you’re struggling now, remember that’s ok. Life has a way of balancing things out, and as bad as things may feel right now is as good as they can feel in the very near future. Magnify is here to help, as always.